I hurt my leg, the audience laughs, I go Godfather (52 sec mp3)
Matt Stooks.com
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Scab picking
I’ve picked a scab or two. Removing a scab is like removing a body part that regenerates. If we could do the same thing with arms, we’d be tearing them off left and right.
This blog is trash
And the majority of its visitors are from searches for “purple candy corn.” You meant to be looking at this post.
Remembering Facebook
I quit Facebook two months ago. I no longer know the pets of people I barely spoke to in high school.
Where there’s smoke…
It was only a matter of time until jalapeños were added to Salmonella Watch: 2008. Fiery deuces abound.
Remember the sexist and racist grandpas?
Many things were labeled “racist” or “sexist” during the primary season. A lot of these went over my head. For example, some said that Hillary’s 3 AM ad had obvious racial overtones. I swear I heard one political douche accuse the ad of saying something along the lines of “Oh, it’s three in the morning, [...]
Prepping for a flood
Dad called me at 10:20 Thursday morning. Five minutes earlier, he found out it might be a good idea to prepare the house at Big Lake for a flood. A storm was coming, and the Missouri River might decide to make itself at home. We arrived at the house at 1:00. The living room got [...]
Noodle Raft
A good alternative to a raft requires a good ab workout to maintain.
Dammit mom
You had to go and warn me about cottonwood allergies at Big Lake. I had to go and call “nonsense” on that. I woke up today and my throat was killing me. I guess it’s Claritin season, after all.
Playing alone with your Wii
The Wii sucks at online gameplay. I come across this criticism fairly often online (an example here). I dabbled with online play with my Xbox when Xbox Live first came around. I wasn’t all that thrilled with it, but I see why so many gamers love it: They never have to leave their apartment or [...]
Eliot Spitzer Night
Check out the Macon Music’s “Eliot Spitzer Night.” 1. The Music have extended an invitation for former New York Governor Spitzer to be on hand and throw out the first pitch 2. The team will give away a New York Vacation including a one night stay at the MayFlower Hotel 3. Client #9 (or fan [...]
Hillary at Bob Evans
Hillary Clinton made a campaign stop at a Bob Evans in Ohio. “In case this other endeavor I’m involved in doesn’t work out, I know I can come back to Bob Evans.” I think we all can agree that Hillary owes Bob Evans workers an apology. Besides, who’s she to think she could get any [...]
Set aside 40 minutes
My friend and former colleague, Chris Casey, uploaded “Freak,” his best film yet. I’ll embed it here, but you should really go to the video’s home page so you can watch it fullscreen.
Facebook loves me
Check out what the guys at Facebook (my profile here) sent me. You read correctly. The guys at Facebook went out of their way, on New Year’s, to personally wish me a happy birthday and a great day. Jealous? UPDATE: It’s come to my attention that some kind of snazzy magic, known as “code,” is [...]
High-level fandome
What exactly does the tiger tail on this car indicate? A. I’m a Missouri Tiger fan and this is my car’s tail. B. I hate the Missouri Tigers, and I’ve got one in my trunk.
Say it ain’t so, Dolph
I’m watching one of the multi-weekly airings of Rocky IV on TV. I remembered hearing that Dolph Lundgren, aka “The Russian,” was some kind of genius. I went to his Wikipedia page for a refresher. He has a master’s degree in chemical engineering. I was a little thrown off when I learned he was Swedish. [...]
Reality check
Ever since the High Lady called last week, I’ve been off my game with the blog. I thought I should address this so you know I’m aware of it and taking the necessary steps to fix the problem (huffing more fingernail polish). Thanks for your support during this time of crisis.
The Prayer Booth
I spent a fun night in Lawrence Saturday. The hangover food at Mirth Internet Cafe was a nice finish to the weekend. I didn’t see anyone using the Internet, but the cafe part was quite enjoyable. After one visit, it’s right up there with Milton’s as one of my favorite all-time breakfast joints in Lawrence. [...]
