I want to congratulate the world on having good breath today. What a pleasant surprise.
Category Archives: disease
A plant, whose existence would be meaningless, found meaning by messing up my existence. Feel free to chew on that hefty load of profound before reading on. I’m pretty sure you could power cars with the crud that seeps from this crap. I know I won’t need to buy Pennzoil for awhile. Screw waterboarding. If [...]
I made the dreaded trip to Price Chopper to stock up on groceries today. While the woman in front of me was taking her time writing her out of town check and trying to get cash back, I had plenty of time to browse the impulse buys. Among them were bottles of Purell for your [...]
Depending on your news source, Patrick Swayze will either be dead in five weeks or he’ll be perfectly fine. One thing’s for sure: We won’t be getting “Ghost 2″ either way. The SNL curse lives
I’m mostly over my cold from last week. A nagging cough remains. I would’ve preferred a complimentary cough, but a nagging one was all I could muster. I’ve never met a cough that didn’t nag.
I’ve been fighting a rough cold all week. The frequent coughing has an upside. I woke up today feeling like I had done some actual, intense ab exercises yesterday. I have a feeling “Cough your way to health” volumes 1-10 will make me a very rich man.
Google Trends is a pretty cool tool for seeing what the world is searching for over a given time period. I subscribe to an RSS feed in Google Reader that delivers the latest hot trends. Some pretty random stuff shows up. For example, tonight’s 11 pm feed shows Habba Syndrome at number 13. What is [...]
I have a cold. As a result, I have a perfectly functioning left nostril and a continuously clogged right nostril. I can successfully blow the right nostril clean for 0.238 seconds before it clogs back up. Where does this endless snot reservoir reside within me? Why does its hose only lead to my right nostril? Is [...]
I ate some Totino’s Party Pizza last weekend. It was the first time I’ve noshed on Totino’s in forever. My timing always blows, as indicated in this news: Almost five million Totino’s and Jeno’s frozen pizzas with pepperoni toppings are being recalled because the pepperoni may be contaminated with E. coli. What did I do [...]