The Stoss has made the jump to Fox News. The man we know and love is no more. This move earns a rating of “No Stashes. Clean shaven.”
Matt Stooks.com
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Category Archives: media
Clay Aiken for VP!!!
Do I really need to provide commentary?
The Olympics are on. Do something awful.
Like a child distracted by jingling car keys, we’re all too busy creaming ourselves over Phelps to see anything else. John Edwards cheated on his cancer-stricken wife during the Presidential campaign she encouraged him to run, even though she was in awful shape. Russia worked up a massive boner and has been waving it in [...]
With our boringness combined…
In a stunning turn of events, Sunday’s Meet The Press managed to put the most amount of boring on a television set in the history of the medium. When’s Russert coming back from vacation to clean this place up?
The Chinese Olympics
Have you heard? The Olympics are in China. China will regret this. The focus of these games will be on how China treats its people, not on the tired storyline of records falling thanks to new technology. Journalists and spectators from around the world will experience a censored Internet. The Internet is essential to journalists. [...]
Hugh Downs: NAMBLA
Fareed Zakaria has a terribly named CNN show: “Fareed Zakaria GPS.” GPS supposedly stands for “Global Public Square,” but I can’t get past the standard meaning for “GPS.” At the very least, CNN should showcase Fareed’s penchant for maps, with a regular segment featuring lost drivers calling Fareed for directions, which he delivers turn-by-turn without [...]
The menacing Al Gore
Al Gore tells Katie Couric he won’t be VP. Gore: I’ve imposed a personal term limit of two terms as VP. Couric: So absolutely nothing could get you to jump on board. Gore: I … Katie … Couric: This interview will come back to haunt you if you say it without … Gore: This interview [...]
Castratation sounds so much worse
The AP tries to clean up a quote. Jackson apologized last week after being caught saying on an open microphone that he wanted to castrate Obama for speaking down to blacks. The original quote, “I want to cut his nuts off” is far less offensive than the word “castrate” in this context. “I want to [...]
Satirical attack squads
The Obama campaign doesn’t like The New Yorker’s new cover. The cover, published Sunday, shows Obama in the Oval Office dressed in traditional Muslim attire. His wife, Michelle, wears an Afro hairstyle and has a machine gun slung over her back. An American flag can be seen burning in the fireplace, and a picture of [...]
Classified BS
Here’s something that doesn’t make sense. The Transportation Security Administration rejected as a “myth” CNN’s report that less than 1 percent of the nation’s daily flights carry armed federal air marshals. Now the agency is conducting an investigation into who talked to CNN and who encouraged other agents to do the same. Spokesman Christopher White [...]
Jesse Jackson’s open mic
Does anything stand out in this story? Besides the “cut his nuts off” part? The Rev. Jesse Jackson apologized Wednesday for “crude and hurtful” remarks he made about Democratic presidential candidate Sen. Barack Obama after finishing an interview with a Fox News correspondent. The remarks came Sunday as Jackson was talking to a fellow interviewee, [...]
Man purse in the news
KMBC 9 News did a robbery story last night. The police said the suspect was carrying “a man purse.” Congratulations man purse, you’ve made it a long way. Flashback: Man purse in the Sauna (5:50 mp3)
What does Limbaugh want?
Rush just signed an 8-year extension worth $38 million. If Obama wins the Presidency, Rush’s show will improve. If McCain wins, Rush will be stale. The same goes for all political talk shows, but Rush is the obvious leader. The media always has ratings and revenue at stake more than anything else. That’s why you [...]
Leesa Baldwin spits at America
From the article “Some Americans will drive trucks, no matter cost“: Seven women pile out of a massive white Chevrolet Suburban and unload the vacuums, mops and buckets of their trade. Gasoline may cost $4 a gallon, but the Chevy’s driver and business owner Leesa Baldwin has no intention of downsizing to a smaller vehicle. [...]
The Flip Flop returns
Shit. They’re using the term “flip flop” again. Democrats say John McCain flip-flopped on off-shore drilling. Republicans say Barack Obama flip-flopped on public campaign financing. We need a flip-flop truce in this country. Let’s recognize that reasonable people change their minds from time-to-time. We can hold them to account when they make a habit of [...]
What’s so bad about sucking?
Check out how the Kansas City Star treated the latest Jose Guillen sound bite. “We still (stink),” Guillen says. “How about that? We still (stink), simple as that. We still (stink). You got it. If you want to know the truth, you got it.” Parentheses should never show up inside quotes, but this particular usage [...]
Reminder: Bush is a moron
President Bush wants Congress to end an offshore drilling moratorium that dates back to early Reagan. Bush said that if congressional leaders head home for their July 4 recess without taking action, they will need to explain why “$4 a gallon gasoline is not enough incentive for them to act. And Americans will rightly ask [...]
The depressing coverage of Tim Russert
Tim Russert is gone. I will miss him. With that said, it’s been interesting to watch reaction to this news. MSNBC went wall-to-wall, without commercials, to talk about their amazing boss. His coworkers described an unparalleled father, son and friend. “He always asked the right questions” became a cliche after about an hour of the [...]
Who’s hungry for tomatoes?
Mark Roh, U.S. Food and Drug Administration’s acting regional director holds a bag of tomatoes being tested for salmonella bacteria at FDA’s southwest regional research lab, in Irvine, Calif., Monday June 9, 2008, where microbiologists are working to trace the source of the outbreak. I can picture the photographer now. Looking for a good photograph [...]
I should be writing for Time
Time published an error-plagued article on the new iPhone (bold mine). With the old iPhone (which ran on AT&T’s Edge network) on one side and the new one (which runs on AT&T’s 3G network) on the other, Jobs loaded a photo-heavy Web page at nationalgeographic.com. It took 21 sec. on the 3G phone, versus 59 [...]
