Prince Adam turns into He-Man by yelling “By the power of Grayskull, I have the power!” How does He-Man turn back into Prince Adam? Does he have another phrase? Does He-Man wear off after awhile, and you become Prince Adam again? My guess is he reverts to Prince Adam immediately after coitus with Teela. Take [...]
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Disturbing DIRECTV ad
Does this bother you? It feels a little dirty to me.
Not as good as The Dark Knight
Remember how terrible Batman & Robin was? Thanks to Chris Casey for pointing out this nugget: “BATMAN AND ROBIN WORST MOVIE EVER.” It’s missing from the montage, but my favorite line from that movie was when a police officer used his last breath to point out to the other cops that “Our lungs…(gasp)…are freezing!”
Arrested Development
Hulu.com is great. I’m re-watching Arrested Development from the first episode. All the episodes are up here. If you’ve never watched, you should fix that problem. It looks like a movie is in the works, too.
It’s about time, bitches
Sing it, sistas: An Ohio-based group of Democratic Hillary Clinton supporters say they’ll work actively against Sen. Barack Obama if he becomes the nominee, arguing that Clinton has been the subject of “intense sexism” by party leaders and the media. “We have been vigilant against expressions of racism, and we are thrilled that the society [...]
George Lucas and the Iraq Fiasco
They were supposed to greet us as liberators. They were supposed to throw flowers at us. They were supposed to be dancing in the street to Martha and the Vandellas. It didn’t happen. Where did our predictions go wrong? I have a theory: It’s George Lucas’ fault. Bush and Cheney simply have to be Star [...]
Crazy for Swayze in jeopardy?
Depending on your news source, Patrick Swayze will either be dead in five weeks or he’ll be perfectly fine. One thing’s for sure: We won’t be getting “Ghost 2″ either way. The SNL curse lives
Dino Shadow Puppet Morgan Freeman
And now, Morgan Freeman the way you’ve always wanted: In the form of a dinosaur shadow puppet. Vocals and puppetry by DB.
2 Girls 1 Cup – Shawshank Reaction
Watch as Red confronts Andy over 2 Girls 1 Cup. Written and performed by DB Hastily edited by Matt Stooks
On Heath Ledger
Now that we’ve learned the official report of Heath Ledger‘s accidental death from an unfortunate mix of legal prescription drugs and Mary Kate Olsen (one could only imagine what Dave Coulier would’ve added to this deadly cocktail), I feel the need to weigh in. However, I can only describe my true feelings after viewing “The [...]
Good news, American Pie fans!
After seeing Mr. Woodcock, I’m fairly certain Seann “Two n’s in my first name” William Scott will completely flame out in time to reprise his role as the original “Stifler” for the 37th direct-to-video “American Pie” sequel. But will he make more bread than Eugene Levy? Thumbs up to the mustaches above Eugene’s eyes, bro
Where Are You, Tim Allen?
Something’s felt a little off this Christmas season. I just figured it out. It’s been more than a year since Tim Allen released a Christmas-themed movie. The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause wasn’t nearly enough to sustain us for two holiday seasons, even with the antics of Martin Short as “Jack Frost.” Can the [...]
Thanks for ruining Junior, scientists!
Some scientists were bored one day, so they thought they’d piss all over our already-damaged childlike innocence. With all that growing weight up front, how is it that pregnant women don’t lose their balance and topple over? Scientists think they’ve found the answer: There’s are slight differences between women and men in one lower back [...]
Three word sentences
“This is Sparta!” – from The 300 “I am Beowulf!” – from Beowulf “I Am Legend.” – title of I Am Legend Mel Gibson’s ass better be headed to a studio to cut the famous “They will never take our freedom” speech from Braveheart and replace it with the much easier to understand “I am [...]
God is sick of it, too
God is getting all kinds of attention this week. The Golden Compass is getting some God-related press. Mitt Romney says he’s cool with God. Why do we care? I understand the importance of religion in people’s lives. But can we stop debating our beliefs in public? Just because someone believes something different from you is [...]
Poll sucking
It’s been too long since we’ve talked about a crappy poll. Here’s a new one. Kids aged 2-12 think Britney Spears and Paris Hilton are more deserving of coal in their stockings than the Grinch and Darth Vader. So, little kids think Britney and Paris are naughtier than two of the most evil fictional bad [...]
As I say in my book…
Lou Dobbs says: As I say in my new book — Independents Day: Awakening the American Spirit — the arrogance of our political leaders now threatens the future of our nation, and their elitist sense of entitlement has reached such heights that our leaders are now openly dismissive of the will of the people. Working [...]
April O’Neill is hot
Yellow Jumpsuit April had the best breasts and always showed off the most cleave. Her voice was the most annoying and rarely matched the animation. Lower left April never did much for me at all. Lower right April didn’t have red hair and disappeared way to early in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret [...]
If you thought it was funny the first time…
“If you thought Superbad was funny the first time, just wait ’til you see it the second time.” I’m not trying to pick on Superbad, as I would like to see it, but I’ve had enough of this “If you thought (blank) was (blank) the first time, just wait ’til you see it the second [...]
