Category Archives: restaurants

Small water

Order water at a fast-food restaurant, get a miniature cup. Are the small cups necessary to keep costs down for a free item? Do they deter soda theft? The truth is these establishments are bullying you into buying a drink. Six ounces can’t quench a lunchtime thirst. You’ll require frequent, humiliating refill trips, parading your […]

Bullying for tips

Mr. Goodcents is about as good of a sub as you can buy for the money.  It puts Subway to shame.  If you don’t have one in your city, I pity you.  That being said, Mr. Goodcents puts a tip line on your credit card receipt, hoping to guilt you into poneying up a tip […]

Where there’s smoke…

It was only a matter of time until jalapeños were added to Salmonella Watch: 2008.  Fiery deuces abound.

Tony Gonzalez is God

In 2001, Tony Gonzalez collided with a sideline photographer.  Thanks to the collission and trip to the hospital, the man found out he had a brain tumor.  Tony saved his life. Last week, Tony Gonzalez performed the Heimlich maneuver on some dude at a restaurant, and saved his life, too. Gonzalez, sitting with his back […]

Olive Garden Diet

We got a pan of Olive Garden lasagna for dinner on Mother’s Day.  I got three servings out of the leftovers to take home. Here’s what my diet has been since Sunday: Sunday night: Olive Garden Lasagna Monday lunch: Olive Garden Lasagna Monday dinner: Olive Garden Lasagna Tuesday lunch: Olive Garden Lasagna My innards are […]

Randomness from Colorado

Mike and I went to PJ’s Bistro in Manitou Springs for lunch Friday. The food was good, but the place was empty. They advertised catering services and had no fountain drinks on tap, so they must specialize in catering. Mike’s $2 can of Coke seemed to disappoint from where I was sitting. Our waitress was […]

Chocolate Milk Handlebar Mustache

My favorite guy in quite awhile was at Gomer’s Chicken for breakfast Sunday. This camera-phone-into-the-sunlight photo doesn’t do him justice. He enjoys breakfast by himself with a handlebar mustache and a glass of chocolate milk. He will have to lick his mustache clean when he’s done with that milk. He’s eating pancakes. He takes a […]

If the name fits, wear it

Who would’ve thought a restaurant named “Cracker Barrel” would have so many racial discrimination incidents?

Not cool, Lew’s

Jon (his amazing performance of “Hurts So Good” with a street performer in Westport here) and I went to Lew’s to celebrate our singlehood on Valentine’s. Lew’s is a bar and grill, more bar than grill, and definitely not the ideal Valentine’s date location.  However, we did see several couples enjoying Lew’s for Valentine’s. I […]

IHOP makes me sleepy

Tuesday was IHOP National Pancake Day.  You get a free short stack of pancakes, with IHOP suggesting a donation to the Children’s Miracle Network. So, I went for a nourishing dinner at IHOP.  I got my free short stack and paid about five bucks extra for bacon, hash browns, toast and two eggs over easy. […]

Podcast: Crap beer and working in fast food

Ian Guerin stops by for a podcast. Topics include: 1. The effect 25 cent PBR draws have on tipping. 2. Do restaurants spit in your food? We came up with a bit more material than I expected, so this is just a part of the conversation.  I’ll post the rest later. mp3 file (14:52) http://mattstooks.com/stooksianshitbeer013008.mp3Podcast: […]

The Border War

Rather than go to Arrowhead Stadium for KU-MU, we went to Ugly Joe’s at 103rd and State Line. You see, Arrowhead is clearly in Missouri. Ugly Joe’s is right on the border, making it more suitable for the whole “Border War” mentality. Yeah, that’s it. It was almost a 50/50 KU-MU crowd. Obviously, a similar […]

Clearing the notepad

My notepad is full of ideas that seemed a lot better in the drunk of night than in the light of day. Instead of having a bunch of ideas staring at me, I thought I’d clear out some of those unused notes. Enjoy. 1. No blankets allowed on a bar’s patio. I was on the […]

Age of consent

She didn’t serve us, but we had the pleasure of checking out quite the waitress at Chelley’s Mexican Restaurant last night. Then, someone pointed out that they thought she was likely too young. Then, there were the braces. So yeah, she was probably a bit too young. But Jon insisted that if a woman looks […]

Free taco!

I’m shocked at the free publicity for Taco Bell’s “Steal a Base, Steal a Taco” promotion (bold mine). There has been at least one stolen base in every World Series matchup since 1990. When the first base is stolen, the unit of Yum Brands Inc, will announce a Tuesday afternoon when consumers will be able […]

RIP: The Fonzie Fix

We went to the 810 Zone on the Plaza to watch the MU and KU games yesterday. They have touchscreen computers in the booths. You can watch TV, play games or go online. It’s a pretty cool idea. Our particular computer was dicked, though. It wouldn’t let us select any of the options. They rebooted […]

The Unisex Toilet

I went to Tomfooleries for happy hour last night. The food was great, the drink specials were on target, but the bathroom situation was a little disconcerting. We sat in the fairly new upstairs area, which probably seats about 100 people, maybe more. One unisex toilet was in place to serve this area. The unisex […]

Don’t you speak English?

I went to Chipotle for lunch. I left annoyed. It wasn’t busy, so we walked right up to the burrito-press lady. This particular Chipotle employs more natives than most. Today, all the workers at the counter were speaking Spanish. The four customers in front of us were speaking Spanish, too, and were really chatting it […]