If you own a dog, you are likely awful. Sure, there are decent dog owners. They train their dogs. But the majority of dog owners are shit. The dog trains the owner. Bark all night, and your master finally comes out to bark back, “shut up!” Apparently this astute owner thinks dogs understand English. If [...]
Matt Stooks.com
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Monthly Archives July 2010
Lasagna Rollata Al Forno
Dear Olive Garden, If I wanted to eat things I couldn’t pronounce, I’d go to a real Italian restaurant. Now, where are those fresh breadsticks you promised? Matt
Contemplative
This face comes in handy when dealing with a question accompanied by bad breath.
Hot off the toilet
The Dusty Bookshelf sells previously owned books. One of the sections is “New Arrivals.” I avoid this section, as these books have been near feces more recently than the books living in other sections. ”New Arrivals” should really be “Hot off the toilet.”
Punctuality
I’ll meet you at six. Actually, you get there at 5:55. I’ll be there at six. I’ll know to look for you when I arrive, and you’ll know to look for me at the door. This will spare us awkward looks.
