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Monthly Archives August 2010

The Internet Porn Generation

When I got pubes, porn was scarce. We got off on scrambled Cinemax, a stray Playboy and our imaginations. These pleasures made for a healthy society. Now, the Internet is conditioning impressionable dicks to rise at only the most foul of shit. Expect an exponential increase in the number of perverts as these kids come [...]

Posted 09 August 2010 † Matt Stooks § porn ‡ Comments (1) °

Why the menu changed

I’ve placed calls to KCP&L and the Kansas City Star in the past week. Both robot operators told me to “Listen closely, as our menu has changed.” I’ve heard this message many times from other automated greetings. Why is the menu changing so much? Are there new things on the menu? Or is it something [...]

Posted 03 August 2010 † Matt Stooks § this is america ‡ Comments (1) °