From Chris Casey:
From Chris Casey:
Order water at a fast-food restaurant, get a miniature cup. Are the small cups necessary to keep costs down for a free item? Do they deter soda theft? The truth is these establishments are bullying you into buying a drink. Six ounces can’t quench a lunchtime thirst. You’ll require frequent, humiliating refill trips, parading your…
When I hear “failed stimulus,” I think of someone not appreciating a finger in the butt.
Prince Adam turns into He-Man by yelling “By the power of Grayskull, I have the power!” How does He-Man turn back into Prince Adam? Does he have another phrase? Does He-Man wear off after awhile, and you become Prince Adam again? My guess is he reverts to Prince Adam immediately after coitus with Teela. Take…
If I were an enterprising hotel proprietor, I would have a sign: “Complimentary black light and toothbrush available upon request.” The black light assures guests a clean room, while also encouraging them to avoid spilling fluids all over the walls. This isn’t a whorehouse. This will never happen, as we simply love rolling around in…
Even a plain man with a mustache can get on TV as long as he has “Fox” on his cheek. What drives a grown man to sellout so hard just to have his face known for a brief second?
I wonder what my killer will be texting when they run my ass over. It better be at least OMGWTF worthy.
Baseball: Buy some close seats and curse at someone who makes more money than you.
I’ve picked a scab or two. Removing a scab is like removing a body part that regenerates. If we could do the same thing with arms, we’d be tearing them off left and right.