In the post “A bear ass”, I argue that toilet paper ads indicate bears have sensitive assholes, therefore bears require Charmin or some other high-end brand.
Now, I’ve come to the realization that dingleberries might be a contributing factor. I could see a comfortable, absorbent two-ply toilet paper wiping out dingleberries in a more efficient manner than “Brand X”, one-ply toilet paper.
Note: “toilet paper” and “tissue paper” are synonyms and usage may vary. However, I dislike the term “tissue paper.” You aren’t fooling anyone at the store into thinking you are using this for anything but wiping your ass.