Chris was sick yesterday, barfed three times, and made it to the bathroom every time. He didn’t defecate his pants, either! So, we started talking with our callers about those times when we didn’t quite make it in time. “Pokey totally got me Helen-Keller-faced last night!” Once again, we got a caller for “Swap Shop”…
Junction City is looking at banning cell phone use for drivers. We had a couple of callers angry at the idea. They were left wondering, “what’s next?” Zack Morris’ phone: the number one cause of cell-related accidents My co-host was sick this morning, so I was flying solo. More importantly, we were supposed to see…
For the first time since I started this site, I’ve updated its look. I’m usually not a fan of white fonts on a black background, but I think it kinda works. Check out the little play buttons next to the audio links. You won’t have to click on the files unless you want to save…
One of our callers warned us about Steve Guttenberg and Co. coming back for another Police Academy. Is that a Bobcat Goldthwait in your pants or are you happy to see me? By the way, IMDB omits Bobcat’s name from the credits for the new movie? He has to be in it, otherwise it will…
The show’s back up tomorrow, and I’ve finally found a decent picture of Hasselhoff’s tears from last week’s American Idol finale. You really had to see it live to appreciate the full Hoff sentimentality, but a man’s gotta eat. “Something flew into my eyes, alright!!!” By the way, Hasselhoff will be a judge on Simon…
The most shocking thing from last night’s American Idol was at the very end of the show. Out of nowhere, they pop Hasselhoff on the screen. This is the first and only time they showed him the entire show. Taylor Hicks was finishing his victory song, Hasselhoff is on screen, clapping, shaking his head back…
Did you see Hasselhoff crying when they announced Taylor Hicks as the winner? I was just going to do a halftime post, but that was too classic. Ben Stiller and Heather Locklear together? Ben, think before you drink… Yeah, the guy on the right has hit that And I get that Kellie Pickler is a…
We were talking about twisted diets this morning. One caller verified the effects of a cigarette diet. Another talked about the saran wrap diet. Rosie and Calista For our allergy suffers, it’s the Stooks in the Morning Pollen Report. For fun with words, it’s “Words with Chris Casey.” Finally, a product for people who miss…
It’s dumpster diving season in Manhattan. We were talking about some of the questionable things people are willing to take home with them, when a woman calls in telling me to “stop smashing” people who dumpster dive. After she hangs up, a stoner calls in and insults her. That’s where the segment stopped on the…
Did you know that Shredder… Is played by Philip Banks? Here’s a clip. Here’s an odd sidenote, this may or may not be a blog by James Avery (Philip/Shredder). Google brings it up when you search for both “James Avery” and “Philip Banks.”
We had some requests for some screenshots of the Immigrant Repellent. Photoshop Adam hooked us up and he says he may get chemically enhanced later to make some more. Also available in handy wipes! And if you were wondering about the world famous Crunchy-Creamy Peanut Butter (clip here)…
The Handshake. What a mess. Awkward limp wrists, noodle arms, bone-crushing grips and spreading disease. I had an especially filthy handshake experience this weekend at a wedding reception. We tried to figure out if you can get out of having to shake someone’s hand. Spreading the bird flu and other diseases for hundreds of years…
Remember the bit Stooks Quest V? Photoshop Adam or, if you prefer “Photoshop Album” sent me an email (I accidentally called him that on the show yesterday and him and Shua have been shoving my face in it since). Here’s the email: Stooks, I was listening to music today on Random, and the Stooks Quest…
I’m only doing serious business in there once a day, so don’t think I’m some constant toilet sitter. Two weeks ago, I’m on the toilet and my door gets buzzed. Then knocked. Then I hear “maintenance.” A complete rush of blood to the head as I hear the door get unlocked and then snapped against…
The Da Vinci Code is out today, and there’s hella hubbub going around. The movie didn’t get very good reviews, but The Stoner says it’s because the critics didn’t watch it the right way. Hansel’s dad is taking him to see the movie, and he’s quite excited. Jesus didn’t foresee Judas’ biggest betrayal:Forgetting to put…
Photoshop Adam sent me some new photos to warn me about abusing drugs. “Stooks, Remember those old commercials where they said “This is your brain, this is your brain on drugs”? And then some skanky looking chic would trash a kitchen or throw eggs at an old lady. Anyway I think someone should bring them…
Have you ever picked up a Maxim, Men’s Health or Cosmo and read one of those “Top 10 worst things to do on a first date” articles? I always wonder, “who actually needs this advice?” Advice like “don’t talk about your ex, how good you are in bed and no dinner table flatulence.” We got…
We do a segment on the show every day called “The Stooksoscope.” It’s like a horoscope, but with my name inserted and some of the stars advice slightly altered. Here’s today’s for Taurus: The fear is far more intimidating than the task itself. Tackle this job, and you’ll find that it’s easier than you would’ve…
Hopefully this is a treat. I’m no longer limiting myself to one post a day. So you’ll need to make sure you scroll down to get your full fix of new posts each day. We’ll keep giving you the morning posts and sound clips you know and love. But there may be bonus posts throughout…
Cox Communications has a new marketing campaign. Something like “don’t go outside, stay inside and watch more Cox programming. We were talking about how stupid that is, and encouraged our listeners to come up with something decent. We couldn’t air one of our callers, who created a character “Harry,” a marketing guy at Cox. However,…
The President’s address tonight better not mess up “24.” The eyebrow is second only to the nose itch in awkward public itching. Yup, even above the crotch. Tetris makes my eye burn more than any other video game. Not both eyes, just the left one. I want to get a massage, but I’ve never had…
I saw an elderly couple using the self checkout at Dillon’s yesterday. While they didn’t physically struggle with the process, it was quite shocking to observe and elderly couple trying such new-fangled technology. This morning, we started talking about funny things we’ve seen old people do. A caller told us about his troubling experience with…
We had all kinds of Mother’s Day fun today. We had a “Mother’s Day Memories” feature that ran throughout the show. Here’s segment 1, segment 2, and segment 3. Hansel stopped by and had a sad Mother’s Day story. Finally, an online-only segment with the High Lady on Mother’s Day. She didn’t call until the…
We have graduations and Mother’s Day this weekend. That left us with loads of ground to cover this morning. Which are the real Blanche and Dorothy? “Stooks in the Morning’s Craft Corner” had some great tips for homemade Mother’s Day gifts. Our callers gave us some tips for moving on into the real world after…
My landlord is giving a tour of my apartment this afternoon. I have empty liquor bottles in my kitchen and laundry all over the floor. It’s probably been a month-and-a-half since I’ve done laundry. This’ll give me the opportunity to finally get the laundry done and be out of the apartment when they do the…
We have a new sales guy, Steve. We thought we’d have a little fun with this morning, and he totally got punk’d!!! Katie Holmes’ parents finally got to see Suri Cruise. So we tried to figure out what they did for fun with “What did the Holmesies do while visiting Suri in L.A.?” So, David…
Our little movie-reviewing friend called with his thoughts on Mission: Impossible III. I went to a bachelor party this weekend and have another one coming up this Saturday in Kansas City for my friend Geoff. This led us to speculate on times when the bachelorette finds out a little too much information about the bachelor…
One of our callers celebrated with a “Cinco De Mayo” party. We also did this for the holiday. Not really sure how to explain it, you’ll just have to listen and be horrified. Hansel joined us to talk about his MySpace page. See his page here. Finally, the long-awaited debut of “Patrick Swayze’s Pottery Barn…
A kid called the show to crack a “May the 4th be with you” joke. Later, we were mocking him. He didn’t take too kindly to this and called the show again. We also had an old man and Dorothy flying solo on “Which is the real Dorothy?” “You think I’m repulsive now? Wait ’til…
I have a sore throat today. So I’ve decided to blame everyone I work with. We have three people who refill their Dasani-style water bottles straight from the water cooler nozzle. The openings on these bottles is barely large enough to accomodate the nossle. This means their germy mouth goo gets on the nozzle. They…