Garth Brooks will do nine shows in Kansas City. Parents, you have one month to convince your kids that Garth Brooks is way cooler than Hannah Montana. Start with an explanation of who Garth Brooks is. Unfortunately, I’m indifferent to Garth. My Hannah Montana money stays in the piggy bank for now. What’s the line…
Big game in Manhattan tomorrow. If K-State wins, there’d better not be any fans storming the field. I’m just saying. Act like you’ve been there. You’re favored to win. KU fans can’t be expected to know what to do in these types of situations, thanks to an almost complete indifference to football outside of games…
Cider Fest is this weekend in Louisburg. I have other plans, but if you’re looking to blow out your colon, Cider Fest is the way to go. The festivities start with a pancake breakfast from 9 to 11 a.m. followed by a barbecue from 11 a.m. to 5 p.m. Live music and entertainment begin at…
Remember SARS? Remember waking up in a cold sweat at 3 am after nightmaring that you got infected with SARS after a visit to Chinatown? SARS was far weaker than the Bird Flu. Sars mortality rate was at about 10 percent. About eight thousand people got it, about eight hundred died. Bird Flu got 199…
Dear Cauliflower, GO AWAY! Nobody likes you! You only exist because whoever invented the veggie tray had some extra room on there and said “maybe we can just throw some of that tard broccoli from the manure pile on there to balance out the look.” Somehow, it stuck. Plus, I’m guessing produce departments can pay…
From the KC Star’s story on Kauffman Stadium renovations (bold mine): Also scheduled for completion: New bullpens, expanded dugout-box seating, expanded crown seating behind the plate, the removal of one circular ramp on each side and the construction of expanded vomitories to field-level concourse. I like to think I’m “down with words,” but I wasn’t…
I’ve stumbled upon an interesting conundrum. When someone curses on a reality show, we get a beep. However, when someone curses on a movie edited for TV, we get “Yippie kayay, Mr. Falcon” (Die Hard 2). Why did the beep ever go out of style for movies? Is the overdubbing union involved? The same overdubbing…
(5:47 podcast) Stooks contributer Shua called the Skype line (785.727.2291) and taught me all kinds of fun things, mostly about TV.
I do most of my email through GMail, but I still have an old Yahoo! address that gets some action. GMail retrieves the email from my Yahoo! inbox, but not the bulk folder. So, I go to Yahoo! and check it every week or so to make sure nothing important got snagged. I have to…
I always find it funny when a bunch of people get pissed and go after a business, intending harm. The latest involves three businesses in Johnson County. A grand jury indicted them for promoting obscenity. Hollywood at Home for four DVDs, Spirit Halloween for obscene costumes, and Priscilla’s for five sex toys and a videos.…
Politicians are a bunch of whiny, tattletales. They waste their/our time voting to condemn ads and write letters complaining about Rush Limbaugh. Don’t you have some laws to write? Wars to fix? Halloween costumes to make resemble White House reporter Helen Thomas? Go do something. #37 on this year’s Halloween costume popularity list
Every time the noise meter comes on at Kauffman Stadium, I try my best to hush the crowd. “Shut up, it’s rigged! If everyone’s quiet, you’ll see!” They don’t listen. They just keep mindlessly screaming as the noise meter continues to climb, tricking all in attendance into thinking they just blew the top off the…
Poor Mrs. Butterworth. She’s fallen on hard times. Years removed from her TV stardom in the 80s, she’s turned to a life of gluttony, her face and defining curves disappearing into an undefined blob.