You won’t see me driving when I’m old.\u00a0 Actually, you probably won’t see many people driving since teleportation will be so standard.\u00a0 I guess I’ll have to make this hypothetical.<\/p>\n
If I were old today, I wouldn’t drive anywhere.\u00a0 I might not be aware of my elderly perception of the time\/space\/speed-limit continuum, but I guarantee my ass wouldn’t be driving anywhere.<\/p>\n
First off, I’m old.\u00a0 I don’t want to go anywhere.\u00a0 I want to stay in my house and watch court shows.\u00a0 I might watch a little news, just so I could conspire with my elderly friends on how we can best screw future generations at the voting booth – absentee ballot of course.\u00a0 Hey, we’re old.\u00a0 We’re going to die soon.\u00a0 Today’s youths don’t understand or appreciate us.\u00a0 Let’s screw em.<\/p>\n
I don’t think any old person wants to drive anywhere.\u00a0 They either have no one to get their groceries or, more likely, they are suicidal, wanting someone to plow through them during a slow creep into an intersection.\u00a0 “Please, kill me now,” would be the thought.\u00a0 “Dammit.\u00a0 Don’t honk at me and flip me off!\u00a0 You’re driving an F-350.\u00a0 You could end my meaningless existence now and barely have to scrape my Taurus off your bumper.”<\/p>\n
Young people just don’t understand.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
You won’t see me driving when I’m old.\u00a0 Actually, you probably won’t see many people driving since teleportation will be so standard.\u00a0 I guess I’ll have to make this hypothetical. If I were old today, I wouldn’t drive anywhere.\u00a0 I might not be aware of my elderly perception of the time\/space\/speed-limit continuum, but I guarantee […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[10,5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1550","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-old-people","category-politics"],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p4pzeu-p0","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mattstooks.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1550","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mattstooks.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mattstooks.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mattstooks.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mattstooks.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1550"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/mattstooks.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1550\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mattstooks.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1550"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mattstooks.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1550"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mattstooks.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1550"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}