"We think the Olympics are more important than Valentine's." - Googleneizer Scrooge

Searching for the phrase "Google is a Scrooge" produces zero results. So hopefully now that I just put that phrase up, they will index it so you can find this site in the future.

Now, back to Valentine's Day proper.

I don't have a Valentine this year.

But I got a Valentine's gift from the heavens last night.

"Hey, Snuffleupagus. Follow me over to the Den of Stooks, so I may defecate on his car."

Either the girl I dated for a month or some kind of feathery beast living in the trees in my parking lot ate too much Beef Pasta Hamburger Helper last night.

I am not joking. This amount of crap appeared on my car in just under 12 hours time.

I had to drink my Carnation Instant Breakfast while driving and staring at bird fecal that resembled dried up Carnation Instant Breakfast on the windshield. I almost hurled.

"I think we've found the Turdburglar."