Matt Stooks

I have more proof that Nicholas Cage is simply horrifying.

His 21 year-old wife had a kid today.

The name?

Kal-el Coppola Cage.

Coppola is Nick’s uncle, Francis Ford Coppola, from Godfather and Godfather Part II (I pretend he didn’t have anything to do with Part III).

Kal-el?

At first glance you might think Kal-el is some Asian name, because of his wife’s heritage.

You’d be wrong.

“Kal-el” is Superman’s name back on Crypton.

As John Stossel says, “Give Me A Break.”

By the way, all you have to do is put horns on Stossel’s head and plop a tail on him.

Perfect Satan…even with the denim.

Will anyone agree with me that Nick Cage sucks?

Sure, he was in a couple good movies at some point. But he was also in Snake Eyes, Face Off, and don’t forget Con Air.

John Malcovich, Ving Rames, John Cusack, Steve Buscemi and even Dave Chappelle couldn’t rescue Con Air from Cage’s awful acting, accent and mullet in that movie.

Maybe this picture will help.

Won’t anyone join my cause?

Nicholas Cage must be stopped.