When I’m old

You won’t see me driving when I’m old.  Actually, you probably won’t see many people driving since teleportation will be so standard.  I guess I’ll have to make this hypothetical.

If I were old today, I wouldn’t drive anywhere.  I might not be aware of my elderly perception of the time/space/speed-limit continuum, but I guarantee my ass wouldn’t be driving anywhere.

First off, I’m old.  I don’t want to go anywhere.  I want to stay in my house and watch court shows.  I might watch a little news, just so I could conspire with my elderly friends on how we can best screw future generations at the voting booth – absentee ballot of course.  Hey, we’re old.  We’re going to die soon.  Today’s youths don’t understand or appreciate us.  Let’s screw em.

I don’t think any old person wants to drive anywhere.  They either have no one to get their groceries or, more likely, they are suicidal, wanting someone to plow through them during a slow creep into an intersection.  “Please, kill me now,” would be the thought.  “Dammit.  Don’t honk at me and flip me off!  You’re driving an F-350.  You could end my meaningless existence now and barely have to scrape my Taurus off your bumper.”

Young people just don’t understand.

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