A plant, whose existence would be meaningless, found meaning by messing up my existence. Feel free to chew on that hefty load of profound before reading on.
I’m pretty sure you could power cars with the crud that seeps from this crap. I know I won’t need to buy Pennzoil for awhile.
Screw waterboarding. If interrogators use poison ivy on terror suspects, you’d find Osama in seconds. Okay, not seconds, but seconds after symptoms heighten 2-4 days after contact. Do you think poison ivy grows in the Middle East? Sand dwellers would freak at the powers of this mystery plant. USA! Note to CIA: Why haven’t you hired me yet?
Something good will come of this. I will stop being a pissy little bitch about bug bites for maybe a whole week.