Come on.

Do you have to choose Thursday night for your press conference where you tell everyone everything that we already know?

And do you have to bump The OC of all things?

You better hope Ryan doesn't grabe some of his boys from Chino for some retaliation.

Easily the biggest mistake of this administration.

Scott Savol wasn't even in the bottom three last night.

Ridiculous.

I've lost my faith in America.

Have you seen the new food pyramid?

Okay, so I was complaining about the police running radar in a new construction zone and within days, I get a ticket. My first ticket in seven years.

It was the day after my brother's wedding, I was wearing my tux and everything, and I got pulled over in Kansas City.

38 in a 25.

I didn't even look at the Speed Limit sign, I knew it couldn't be less than 35.

I was wrong.

"You're all dressed up," the cop said.

"I know. I'm in town for my brother's wedding. I'm not familiar with the area (load of crap). Do you have to give me a ticket?"

"Yes."

Maybe things would've been different if I would've worn my low-cut tuxedo shirt.

Apparently Paula likes reading Internet message board about American Idol. And she sees that everone thinks she's wasted.

I think the picture tells us all we need to know.

First off, what a stupid nickname.

Second, shouldn't there be some kind of waiting period before you start pulling people over in a construction zone?

They just started working on a highway that I take to work each morning and they already had a cop out, at 4:30 a.m., trying to find people who were going over the ridiculous 35 mph limit.

Hopefully the new pope can take care of that problem, too.

We used to think you were cool because you were Ruben-sized and looking like Corky but Idol let you advance.

But then we found out that you like to beat up girls.

Oh yeah, then there's that part where you can't sing.

Then the part where you're way too cocky for your terrible voice.

So now we kinda hope you have a coronary in front of Cowell on American Idol tonight.

And please, squash Seacrest as you fall to your demise.

Love,

Matt Stooks

Kansas City's Chubby's is a 24 hour diner.

Lawrence's Chubby's is a bowling alley's bar and grill. You know you're going to get quality food at a bowling alley's bar. I don't know why they just don't give up and sell gas station sandwiches, instead.

Junction City's Chubby's is a barbecue/barbeque/BBQ/Bar-B-Q place.

So, if you name your restaurant Chubby's, you can change your menu at any time without changing your name. People except the name Chubby's for any restaurant.

But I still haven't seen a Chinese place with the name. Hmmmm.

That's what The Donald should've said to Chris Shelton, one of his Apprentice wannabees.

Have you ever been in line somewhere and the person in front of you won't get off their phone?

They end up holding up the line because they have to tell their friend that "Maggie is making a big mistake going ouw with that jerk."

Is that really necessary at the current moment?

Or how about that person that feels the need to hold the phone like a microphone to their mouth and then swivel it back to their ear to hear their caller's reply?

If you hold it up to your ear, something tells me that having the microphone part hanging an inch from your mouth is just as effective in getting your message across as turning the entire apparatus around.

Text messages are annoying, too.

Just call them the traditional way: in the line at the grocery store, constantly moving it from your mouth to your ear.

Paula didn't seem to be completely trashed last night on American Idol.

While she still didn't talk like a normal person, she didn't sound as inebriated as Billy Joel.

A bunch of people have already changed Sony's new version of the GameBoy for their own purposes. Now you can get patches that let you get on the Internet, do Instant Messaging and even grab shows off the TiVo to watch later.

This got me thinking about some other things I've rigged in the past to work for different purposes.

I have a shower mat that I'm going to cut up and use to keep my furniture in place on my hardwood floors at my new apartment.

This morning, we've heard about using trash can lids and a hood of a car for sleds, using a dryer as a hiding place, a bed for firewood.

Got anything better?

I can't figure out if I'm required to do this or not, but I always get suckered into it.
I bet if I get an Extra-Long Cheese Coney with Jalepeños, my stomach and other digestive organs would convince me to stay away completely. By the way, if you want to know how you can type fun characters like "ñ" check out my post from February 10.

What's really weird is that in Manhattan and Junction City, they actually have carhops on rollerskates. My time in KC and Lawrence taught me otherwise.

Do you tip the skating carhops more? If I don't want to tip normally, should I tip the skaters?

I worked at McDonald's for three years back in the day, and never got a tip. Why do Sonic Carhops deserve more?

Once The Contender fails, Sly might still have a job.

Someone has made a script for Rambo 4.