Don't you hate it when someone never updates their website?

Oh wait. I guess that's me.

Be patient with me, we're getting ready to put our best audio on the show here at least every couple days.

Schiavo Autopsy Show Massive Brain Damage

No kidding.

Oooh. Oooh. Wait! I've got a headline of my own:

Stooks Toilet Shows Midnight Taco Bell Run

He ruined Weekend Update.

He ripped of Politically Incorrect...badly. And that wasn't a good show in the first place.

And somehow he still shows up on TV.

Find me one person who can even tolerate Colin Quinn. I don't think you can.

Are you the next Richard Hatch?

But if you want to get on Survivor, there's a casting call in Kansas City at Nebraska Furniture Mart this Saturday. It starts at 10. Click here to get the full "skinny" (I hate that word but that's the first thing that popped in my head).

Why was this phrase ever popular?

I've heard it more since the move to Manhattan than anything else.

That's probably the biggest con I've found since my arrival.

I guess that's pretty good.

There's some kind of random beeping sound in my apartment. What's interesting, is that it only beeps once every half hour or so.

It might be a smoke alarm wanting new batteries.

But how am I supposed to find the beeping if it happens so rarely?

Should I just go stare at the smoke alarm for the next half hour to see what's up?

Or maybe I should just burn the place down and see if the smoke alarm goes off.

Everyone knows about the Ice Cream Social.

But how about an Ice Cream Anti-Social?

You would stay quiet, face the wall, and have ice cream roll off your chin while a tear streams down your cheek.