The Handshake and Immigrant Repellent

The Handshake.

What a mess.

Awkward limp wrists, noodle arms, bone-crushing grips and spreading disease.

I had an especially filthy handshake experience this weekend at a wedding reception.

We tried to figure out
if you can get out of having to shake someone's hand.


Spreading the bird flu and other diseases for hundreds of years

If you haven't heard, Hasselhoff will be a judge on America's Got Talent, a bad ripoff of American Idol and Star Search. One of our callers told us it was ripping off another show as well.


Sadly, Hasselhoff never kicked his Speedo habit

The illegal immigrant debate is really heating up. Until Congress gets off their butts, we have a solution for your illegal immigrant problems.

Here's an estended discussion on my "Wasp on the toilet" post from Friday.

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4 Comments:

At 11:30 AM, May 22, 2006, shua said...

I wish I had beautiful, sweaty chest hair like Hasselhoff.

 
At 12:54 PM, May 22, 2006, Wolf Buddy said...

Maybe you should offer a fist, ala Howie Mandel on Deal or No Deal, to get out of the handshake.
You're a DJ, you are hip, and so is the fist. They will understand.

 
At 1:11 PM, May 22, 2006, Matt Stooks said...

Shua...I don't think I could find one person to disagree with you.

Wolf, I'm no Howie Mandel. First, I'll need to grow the flavor saver. Second, we're dealing with old men who wouldn't know a DJ from his own, wrinkly hind end.

 
At 1:33 PM, May 22, 2006, Kevin said...

I don't have a problem with the hand shake, as long as someone doesn't "short-hand" me. That is what I call it when someone grips my hand for a shake just in between the second and third knuckle (essentially only griping the fingers). It doesn't allow me to display any sort of grip and leaves me looking like a pansy.

Bagel Nip Grip

 

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