Aquarius

Self-sacrifice isn't a problem for you. Just make sure that while you give, you shouldn't actually give until it hurts. Usually that’s after you donate the second kidney.

Cancer

Not everyone gets you right now, but that's fine -- after all, you know that you have your own special style that can't be duplicated. Just because you and Screech are in the minority doesn’t make you dirtballs…unless it involves scat play. What’s that? Oh, never mind. You are a freak.

Scorpio

You understand an emotional type more than most, especially when their ways are dissected by the more straitlaced. Defending them isn't your job -- however, defusing any nasty or unworthy gossip absolutely is. Unless it’s some good gossip like “Do you see how Cindy’s walking today? And check out that smile on Fred’s face!”

Aries

What's this? Your usually go-for-it attitude has toned down. You're feeling gentle, dreamy and in touch with the larger forces. Go with the flow. Maximize your mood and explore meditation or keep a dream journal. Just don’t let anyone find out, or it’ll be like that time your mom found those leather accessories in your closet.

Stooks Proverb: If you play with fire, you get burned. And it doesn’t share its Tickle Me Elmo Extreme.