Leo (July 23 - August 22)

You have leadership abilities that you haven't even tapped yet. Add to that a sense of optimism that draws even more people to you. This is perfect, because you've been in the mood to lead a movement. Rise ant children! Rise!

Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)

Consider yourself blessed. With that winning attitude in place, you shouldn't be surprised when adverse circumstances turn out to be immensely favorable. Believe in yourself and aid will come from a mighty force: Louie Anderson’s lower intestine.

Taurus (April 20 - May 20)

Coordination is the key to making all the elements in your life come together. Give yourself some room to make a few mistakes. It may take a little practice at first, but you'll soon have the rhythm. Then, no one will stand in the way of your wiffle ball dominance.

Virgo (August 23 - September 22)

Sometimes that restless feeling can't be explained away intellectually or rationally -- you just have to learn to accept it for what it is. Long walks or another physical endeavor can help you process it. But nothing will make Gary Busey’s lack of career options go away.

Stooks Proverb: Love will find a way. Even if Mangino’s in the way, love will still take the 50 mile detour around his perimeter.