Aquarius

A telephone isn't just another way to have a conversation when you're doing the talking. It can also be an amazing instrument for change. It can strangle, bash skulls and make music at the same time!

Cancer

Go and get a little frisky. Some regularly scheduled mayhem will help you remember that it's good to be alive. Just make sure you buy the electric pump for your new lover.

Scorpio

Are you looking to someone else to solve a problem that really resides within you? It's fine to ask them for things that are within reason, but it's not so fine to ask them to inspect your hemorrhoids.

Aries

Mentally checking out the situation seems like a dandy idea. But don’t give anyone the opportunity to start calling you a dandy again.

Stooks Proverb: There’s honor among thieves, but not panty bandits.