1. Are you too old to trick or treat? You usually reach an age where you become "too cool" for Halloween. This typically occurs around the age of 13. A couple of years pass. You turn 16 and realize the value of free candy. It's at this point that you must decide whether free candy is worth the awkward stares and possible "Aren't you too old for Halloween?" exchanges. Doing this with no costume is a further sign of your desperation and dependence on free candy.



2. Are you a shitty house to visit? You can tell a lot about someone based on the candy they give on Halloween. If the wrapper tears and sticks to your candy, and you aren't poor, you are a terrible person. If you give out full-sized candy bars, you're snooty. You should land somewhere in between.



3. What about tricks? I don't know anyone who's given out a trick instead of a treat. Yet, "trick" comes first in the question "Trick or treat?" Are the kids sincere when asking "Trick or treat?" Would they really settle for a trick? I encourage you to learn some tricks to perform on Halloween. See if the kids will be content with a simple trick and no candy. Tip: I wouldn't suggest doing penis tricks. It's usually cold on Halloween. Incarceration is another consideration.

Labels: halloween

This entry was posted on Wednesday, October 31, 2007 at 12:22 PM.