Cauliflower: Brocolli's bitch
Thursday, October 04, 2007
Dear Cauliflower,
GO AWAY! Nobody likes you!
You only exist because whoever invented the veggie tray had some extra room on there and said "maybe we can just throw some of that tard broccoli from the manure pile on there to balance out the look." Somehow, it stuck. Plus, I'm guessing produce departments can pay at a cost just above prostrate pigweed for this worse-than-soy filling agent.
The only reason people eat you now is because you're ugly, and they don't want to have to look at you overwhelm the tray while the decent vegetables diminish in quantity. If it weren't for ranch, you'd be permanently screwed.
GO AWAY! Nobody likes you!
You only exist because whoever invented the veggie tray had some extra room on there and said "maybe we can just throw some of that tard broccoli from the manure pile on there to balance out the look." Somehow, it stuck. Plus, I'm guessing produce departments can pay at a cost just above prostrate pigweed for this worse-than-soy filling agent.
The only reason people eat you now is because you're ugly, and they don't want to have to look at you overwhelm the tray while the decent vegetables diminish in quantity. If it weren't for ranch, you'd be permanently screwed.
You taste like cardboard. Your texture feels of sand. You're a worthless, filthy vegetable, and I hope some kind of disease wipes you off the face of the planet.
Sincerely,
Matt
Labels: produce, random nonsense
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