This guy's pathetic.

Is the hat in that picture supposed to imply that he is a fan of all of Major League Baseball instead of just one team?

I've been meaning to add this for the last week, but here's that clip of Kevin Federline rapping for his next CD.

Supposedly, his producer leaked the clip to the Internet.

You might guess that he was trying to build hype for the CD, but I'm thinking it's more of a "maybe if everyone hears this crap, they'll cancel production, and I'll be spared from having to bleed out the ears every night" type of thing.

A while back, we did a bit on people who you want to ask "are you high?" Then, like clockwork, we got a high caller. You can relive that moment at this post.

Then, we started talking about my friend Chris (you can check out his hilarious site here) and how the dog he started watching died within two weeks.

The High Lady called in with a very odd story. We didn't put it on the air...simply too awkward.

But you can enjoy it, anyway, right here.

Enjoy.

Okay, so you have one friend over.

You don't bother to pick anything up around the house. If you're good enough friends for them to come over solo, then you're comfortable leaving your house the way you usually do: messy.

Now, you have twenty friends over. You clean the place up a little.

That's this website.

Mattstooks.com's highest total hits came in September, with 8,769 hits for the month. Not too bad.

In October, that number quintupled (pretty sure that's a word) to a new record of 42,479 for the month.

Okay, I just found out hits mean nothing. But we had visits from 3,185 different computers, up from 704 in September. Good job team!

Apparently, America had an unfulfilled need for lame attempts at humor involving herpes commercials, Chris Matthews playing the voice of Kermit The Frog's brother Steve, and my standards for women being just above the villainous Mama Fratelli from The Goonies.

Justin, Intern Val, and myself had to, I mean, got to judge a kids Halloween costume contest last night.
After denying 100 five-and-under-year-olds any recognition for their adorable attire, I realized that even I would have trouble dogging on Scott Savol during his horrifying stint on American Idol. Click here to see my thoughts on Scott Savol. Click here to hear his ridiculous attempt at singing.

After looking into Scott's mousy little eyes, I'd have to pull a Paula and proclaim "you're all winners!"