The Subway Diet meets its end

Glenn Beck is a fear monger, but he knows how to communicate – to a certain crowd, of course.

Considering the average amount of gas used per household, the rise has cost us approximately $1,690. With the average 42-inch plasma screen going for $975, just the extra cash you’ve forked over for gas in the last year and a half could have bought you 1.733 plasma TVs. And that number just keeps rising.

More importantly, that’s 338 pre-tax $5 footlongs from Subway.  Jared might have never lost all that weight if he tried to start the Subway diet today.  He couldn’t afford it.  He’d be dead, and his memorial page would make a lot more sense, and be a little more offensive.

You should check out Jared Remembered.  Here’s a taste.

In lieu of donations, please give low fat condiment packets to homeless shelters with the name “Jared Remembered!”

…

Little Pants, Big Heart

I saw you on the tele-tube,
I knew you ate the yummy food,
I saw you lost weight and looked good,
You did and so could I dude.

You went from thick and then to thin,
You walked all over and walked right in,
To my heart and to my den,
And gave me thoughts akin with sin,

I lost some weight, not as much anyhow,
Such hope you gave this little cow,
Your curtain has fallen so take a bow,
You’re eating fresh with angels now,
Amanda J. – Hartford, CT