Capricorn (December 22 - January 19)

Feel like someone's put a second helping of anxiety on your plate and you didn't even ask for the first? Maybe it’s time you speak up and say “can’t someone get some G D mashed potatoes up in here.

Gemini (May 21 - June 21)

Lately the tried-and-true just hasn't been doing it for you -- you definitely crave novelty more than most. Are you ready to try something new? No, not hoola-hooping. You’re still not ready for that level of cognition.

Libra (September 23 - October 22)

Did you take a detour and end up stranded? Never fear, because this time is almost over. The path may not be straight at first, but you'll get used to it. Mel Gibson puked on it the first couple times, but he had a handicap.

Pisces (February 19 - March 20)

You've been eyeing an objective for a long time, especially since you know it's well within your reach. Who put the Twinkees on top of the refrigerator in the first place?

Stooks Proverb: There’s a black sheep in every flock. And Kramer is thinking about sticking it upside down with a fork in its buttocks.