Capricorn (December 22 - January 19)

Everybody needs some silly nonsense in his or her life. Your spirit could do with a little refreshment, so do something you haven't done in a while. Give your spirit some Orbitz to chew on.

Gemini (May 21 - June 21)

The strangest things pop out of your mouth when you're not thinking. Maybe you should brush your teeth to avoid such large tartar particles.

Libra (September 23 - October 22)

It's time to go your own way. Secretly, you know what's really important to you, but you're also very aware of what 'other people' think about your pension for egging the doors of nursing home residents.

Pisces (February 19 - March 20)

Here you thought you'd already paid that person back, but now they're popping into your life again. Be honest with yourself and them. Who would’ve thought getting tied up with the mob would be such a bad idea?

Stooks Proverb: Things aren’t always what they seem, especially if you’re on the same stuff as Paula Abdul.