Leo (July 23 - August 22)

A certain person you're counting on may turn out to be flaky. Don't worry, though -- it's just temporary. Tell them about Selsun Blue.

Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)

Wait until some of the extraneous noise dies down before you make a decision. What you hear could change your perspective on the situation and open up a world of options, especially if what you hear is Louie Anderson in the bathroom at Olive Garden.

Taurus (April 20 - May 20)

It's time to do some downsizing when it comes to your personal and professional life. Take control and strip away the nonessentials, starting with your Luke Perry bathmat.

Virgo (August 23 - September 22)

There's such a thing as having too much attention to detail, especially when it comes to making decisions. Take a breath and make a choice: paper or plastic.

Stooks Proverb: The eyes are the window to the soul. Eye boogers are the dead insects smashed to the window.