DB and I wanted to catch a Royals game Wednesday night. First, we went for drinks and food in Waldo.
We had a couple of drinks at Tanner’s before heading next door for Waldo Pizza. Crap beer was $1.25. I chose Old Style. DB chose Schlitz.
The Schlitz didn’t make Danny famous, but the Old Style helped him convince me to leave my phone number on the credit card receipt. That waitress was hot, and I assume she made fun of me the rest of the night.
I’d never used the bathroom at Waldo pizza, and I got quite the treat when the Old Style caught up with me.
Albums line one wall.
A much more frightening scene awaits on the wall closest to the toilet in this one-seater restroom.
The Pope holds a hockey stick and stares at you peeing. Oddly enough, I didn’t suffer stage fright.
As we were in no condition to drive, we hopped aboard the Royals Express bus. You pay six bucks for a two-way ticket, and they give you a six-dollar coupon for a game ticket. Basically, it’s a free ride. It’s also a long ride – an hour to get to the stadium.
There was a good looking redhead two seats down on the bus. Her eyebrows were a bit bushy. You don’t appreciate eyebrow grooming until you see someone who needs it. Her friend had ridiculous bangs. The only excuse for those things would be a Gorbachev on her forehead. Someone needs to find these girls a salon.
We didn’t know it was a Buck Night (dollar hot dogs, cokes and peanuts) when we decided to go. After a never-ending piss and a long wait in line for tickets, we made it inside. Every Buck Night causes the field to fill with hot dog wrappers. This has to be annoying for the players. Can you spot the ball in play? I imagine the third baseman throwing to first as a hot dog wrapper flies in the first baseman’s face – whap!
The between-inning activities were interesting. The MC was too amped up for my liking. He deserved the look from this fan.
You can count on awkward throwbacks to the PA announcer when he wraps up his little contests. Slugerrr has to be pissed about this guy’s screen hogging.
The scoreboard featured an animated hot dog race.
Sometimes, the Royals have people in hot dog costumes sprint to the plate from right field. I’m guessing they only do this on weekends. Is attendance so bad they can’t find three people to dress up in hot dog outfits each game? Give me season tickets and I’ll do it every game, so long as I can be “Relish.”
Last year, the Royals used this “noise meter.”
This year, the Royals have a noise meter so intense, my feeble camera couldn’t capture what the hell was going on up there. I’m pretty sure this new noise meter is bullshit, too. If everyone would just shutup and not cheer, they would see the fraud. I guess they need a reason to cheer at some point during the game.
Oh, and the Royals managed to blow a four-run lead in the seventh and lose by six. I’ve seen the Royals lose six games and win one. If I end up making my 20-game goal this season, it’ll be a miracle. Thank god the scenary is always good.