For now on, I shall do any public restroom flushing or door opening with my left pinky. I use the left pinky less than any other digit, so it seems like a smart idea to use it when touching areas with latent fecal matter.
Matt Stooks
That Not-So-Fresh Feeling Between Your Ears
Comments 8
I would have thought that your penis sees less action than any other digit.
Oooooh … sick burn!
Matt, I would like to take the opportunity to apologize for my previous actions. I have serious impulse control problems.
Posted 04 Aug 2008 at 14:41 ¶Have you tried flushing a toilet with your dick? Logistical nightmare.
As for impulse control problems: See 50 percent of my posts.
Posted 04 Aug 2008 at 15:14 ¶Makeup sex?
Posted 04 Aug 2008 at 18:14 ¶You’re drunk. Maybe later.
Posted 04 Aug 2008 at 20:57 ¶I just won’t flush it if it doesnt meet certain standards.
Posted 04 Aug 2008 at 22:56 ¶I try to avoid flushing urinals. However, if I’m forced to pee in a stall, I feel an obligation to flush; I don’t want my urine to splash back on someone’s balls. That toilet better be reasonable, or my shoe will take flushing responsibilities.
Posted 05 Aug 2008 at 00:35 ¶I use my shoe.
And only my shoe.
And, even though some don’t agree with me, I don’t wash my hands in public bathrooms. I grab a paper towel to open the door, because honestly, there are more germs on the sink handles than there probably are on the toilet seats.
Posted 06 Aug 2008 at 21:11 ¶Just sayin.
I went through a phase where I always flushed with my shoe. Then I realized I was transferring the filth from the floor to the toilet handle. I don’t find that fair to people with good toilet habits.
For hand washing: I turn on the faucet, wash, grab a towel to dry, and use the towel to turn off the water.
Posted 06 Aug 2008 at 23:31 ¶Post a Comment