Small water

Order water at a fast-food restaurant, get a miniature cup.

Are the small cups necessary to keep costs down for a free item? Do they deter soda theft?

The truth is these establishments are bullying you into buying a drink.

Six ounces can’t quench a lunchtime thirst. You’ll require frequent, humiliating refill trips, parading your cheap ass around the place with your Dixie cup exposed for all to see.

You press a little lever on the lemonade slot to get the water. How dainty do you look pressing it, shot glass in hand? How many germs are on that thing? Poopy index fingers all over it.

All the other beverages are activated by pressing a mostly germ-free cup into the soda fountain. Magic does the filling.

Why don’t you just make me lick the floor to earn my tiny water?

Comments 2

  1. Garret wrote:

    Wow. Was thinking this yesterday. Powerful stuff.

    Posted 04 Nov 2010 at 21:35
  2. Joshua wrote:

    I’ve always told myself I’d be willing to pay for water if it were treated with the same respect as the waste associated with it in the fountain.
    It seriously pisses me off when the acne faced teen replies, “Just water?” before scurrying off to drink their own 88 ounce Mr. Pibb.
    It’s not JUST water. It’s fucking water. I would like a full sized paper cup of the life blood of this planet.
    Yes, I will reimburse you for the disposable product that will end up in the Pacific ring of trash. Floating on what? Water of course.

    Posted 05 Nov 2010 at 02:58

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