Schiavo Autopsy Show Massive Brain Damage No kidding. Oooh. Oooh. Wait! I’ve got a headline of my own: Stooks Toilet Shows Midnight Taco Bell Run
Schiavo Autopsy Show Massive Brain Damage No kidding. Oooh. Oooh. Wait! I’ve got a headline of my own: Stooks Toilet Shows Midnight Taco Bell Run
He ruined Weekend Update. He ripped of Politically Incorrect…badly. And that wasn’t a good show in the first place. And somehow he still shows up on TV. Find me one person who can even tolerate Colin Quinn. I don’t think you can.
Are you the next Richard Hatch? I hope not. But if you want to get on Survivor, there’s a casting call in Kansas City at Nebraska Furniture Mart this Saturday. It starts at 10. Click here to get the full “skinny” (I hate that word but that’s the first thing that popped in my head).
Why was this phrase ever popular? I’ve heard it more since the move to Manhattan than anything else. That’s probably the biggest con I’ve found since my arrival. I guess that’s pretty good.
There’s some kind of random beeping sound in my apartment. What’s interesting, is that it only beeps once every half hour or so. It might be a smoke alarm wanting new batteries. But how am I supposed to find the beeping if it happens so rarely? Should I just go stare at the smoke alarm…
Everyone knows about the Ice Cream Social. But how about an Ice Cream Anti-Social? You would stay quiet, face the wall, and have ice cream roll off your chin while a tear streams down your cheek.
If I had the chance, I too, would propose to any woman who could eat a sandwich like this.
Some TV producer will never wash his cheek again. Check out Burt Reynolds delivering a slap when the guy admits he never saw the original The Longest Yard.
I’ve been cursed at more than once because of something we’ve talked about on the show. None were more justified than this guy’s thoughts on us discussing American Idol this morning. Take a listen. It’s worth it.
Check this out: Paris Hilton has a new video. And you can even see it on TV! It’s for Hardees/Carl’s Jr. and the Parent Television Council isn’t very happy. You can find out why by viewing it here.
I just saw a hippie driving a new Chevy Blazer. Am I the only one who sees anything wrong with that?
Whoa. Check out the new Tonya Harding. I can’t tell if it’s deliberate weight gain for her “boxing career” or if she’s pulled a Kirstie Alley.
Can guys carry this? I went into a bar in Aggieville and saw a guy with this on his keychain. I laughed. But then I heard that the other day a guy got jumped by two other guys in Aggieville. I might start carrying a little mace with me. But this is the kind of…
After many emails and posts to this site, Days of Our Lives made its official return to the show this morning. In honor of this great event, I’ve put together a montage of the latest controversy: Bo falling victim to some kind of gas that caused him to think a different woman (Billie Reed) was…
How does a car end up upside down on a sidewalk in Manhattan and have no body damage except for the existing spare tire and years of wear? I didn’t know Billy Joel bought a place in town.
Is anyone else annoyed with organized “t-shirt” barhopping? This is where a frat, sorority or other organization makes up a t-shirt and goes from bar to bar. They arrive in their groups of 20, destroy the atmosphere of the bar, and then leave. Kindof like the arrival of Oliver on The Brady Bunch, but multiplied…
Cry about it some more, you no-talent, sister-beating idiot. Corey “I not only like to beat up women, but I like to beat up women who are my sister” Clark makes Scott Savol look good. ABC is such a piece of garbage for airing that special last night. By the way, did you notice that…
Have you ever accidentally dropped something into the toilet and had to fish it out with your hands? Probably. But have you ever accidentally thrown something into the toilet while you were in the shower? I used up the rest of my body wash this morning, and I always toss empty shower products over the…
Heebiejeebies anyone? This is that runaway bride from Georgia. Maybe she was just trying to find some nourishment and a five gallon bottle of Visine before the wedding.
Come on. Do you have to choose Thursday night for your press conference where you tell everyone everything that we already know? And do you have to bump The OC of all things? You better hope Ryan doesn’t grabe some of his boys from Chino for some retaliation. Easily the biggest mistake of this administration.
Scott Savol wasn’t even in the bottom three last night. Ridiculous. I’ve lost my faith in America.
Whoops. Wrong picture. There. That’s better. And he’ll be back to wearing the beater after last night’s show. Savol sucked so bad last night on American Idol that, if he doesn’t get cut tonight, I’ll gouge out my ears with a spoon. Check out this not-even-all-that-high note that he failed to hit. Not sure if…
Have you seen the new food pyramid? I didn’t realize I needed to have more stick figures in my diet. With the new pyramid, you get to customize your own plan by entering your age, gender and level of physical activity. Unfortunately, less than 30 minutes a day is as low as it goes. I…
Okay, so I was complaining about the police running radar in a new construction zone and within days, I get a ticket. My first ticket in seven years. It was the day after my brother’s wedding, I was wearing my tux and everything, and I got pulled over in Kansas City. 38 in a 25.…
Apparently Paula likes reading Internet message board about American Idol. And she sees that everone thinks she’s wasted. I think the picture tells us all we need to know. But Paula says the rumors just ain’t got none truth to ’em in da whatsoever. Great job! I’m proud of you! (*clap clap*). I direct you…
First off, what a stupid nickname. Second, shouldn’t there be some kind of waiting period before you start pulling people over in a construction zone? They just started working on a highway that I take to work each morning and they already had a cop out, at 4:30 a.m., trying to find people who were…
We used to think you were cool because you were Ruben-sized and looking like Corky but Idol let you advance. But then we found out that you like to beat up girls. Oh yeah, then there’s that part where you can’t sing. Then the part where you’re way too cocky for your terrible voice. So…
Kansas City’s Chubby’s is a 24 hour diner. Lawrence’s Chubby’s is a bowling alley’s bar and grill. You know you’re going to get quality food at a bowling alley’s bar. I don’t know why they just don’t give up and sell gas station sandwiches, instead. Junction City’s Chubby’s is a barbecue/barbeque/BBQ/Bar-B-Q place. So, if you…
That’s what The Donald should’ve said to Chris Shelton, one of his Apprentice wannabees. This picture has my Abdul-O-Meter in the red. He was arrested the other night for disorderly conduct. Any guesses on if he advances much further on The Apprentice?
Have you ever been in line somewhere and the person in front of you won’t get off their phone? They end up holding up the line because they have to tell their friend that “Maggie is making a big mistake going ouw with that jerk.” Is that really necessary at the current moment? Or how…