If you haven’t done it, mix one part lemonade with one part iced tea. The Arnold Palmer. Delicious. I haven’t tried it with vodka yet, but it’s on the to-do list. Wikipedia: There are five alcoholic variations. The first, known as the “Tom Arnold“, consists of the original iced-tea/lemonade mixture, with vodka added. Another variation,…
George Will thinks our immigration policy keeps good people out of the United States. Two-thirds of doctoral candidates in science and engineering in U.S. universities are foreign-born. But only 140,000 employment-based green cards are available annually, and 1 million educated professionals are waiting — often five or more years — for cards. Congress could quickly…
Hulu.com is great. I’m re-watching Arrested Development from the first episode. All the episodes are up here. If you’ve never watched, you should fix that problem. It looks like a movie is in the works, too.
Kansas City is giving the Kansas City Power and Light District a much-deserved scolding for its dress code, perceived by many as racist. The one time I went to the meat market district, we stood in line for twenty minutes to get into a bar. A bouncer approached a black guy behind me and told…
Dumbass: A German man doused his BMW with gasoline and torched it on Friday in protest at skyrocketing fuel costs, police said. The unemployed 30-year-old man drove the black 1995 BMW 3-series sedan onto the lawn outside Frankfurt’s convention center grounds at about 7:30 a.m., police spokesman Karlheinz Wagner said. He then jumped out, emptied…
I hate the Yankees. I hate how the media stroke and drool over the Yankees much more. Every week, there’s a new Joba Chamberlain story. I don’t know much about the guy personally, but I wish him nothing but utter failure. I hope he has a mental or physical breakdown that ends his career. I…
You won’t see me driving when I’m old. Actually, you probably won’t see many people driving since teleportation will be so standard. I guess I’ll have to make this hypothetical. If I were old today, I wouldn’t drive anywhere. I might not be aware of my elderly perception of the time/space/speed-limit continuum, but I guarantee…
Getting molested as a child isn’t going to get you back into movies or even the celeb-reality TV business. Become a coke head again, and I’m sure Dr. Drew will be willing to talk.
Robbing the cradle, legally: Saudi marriage officiant Dr. Ahmad al-Mu’bi told Lebanese television viewers last week that it’s permissible for girls as young as 1 to marry — as long as sex is postponed. If it weren’t for that pesky sex clause, we could count on our pedophiles leaving the United States. Damn teases.
If you have no problem paying for the gas, or people vandalizing it, or everyone thinking you’re an asshole – you can get great financing on a Hummer. I’d say Hummer dealerships will start vanishing soon. Thank god. This vehicle was designed for pricks – small ones.
Iran’s president says the United States and its allies tried to kill him when he visited Iraq, but he was too clever for them. “Based on reliable intelligence, our enemies had plans to kidnap and kill your servant. But we intentionally made last-minute changes in our schedule.” Israel is running scary military exercises. Those exercises…
When I saw George Carlin’s latest HBO special, “It’s Bad For Ya,” I realized George Carlin’s prime never ended. He was still as brilliant as always, and would remain so until he died – which was to have taken place no sooner than ten years from now. Most comics get a couple years in the…
Shit. They’re using the term “flip flop” again. Democrats say John McCain flip-flopped on off-shore drilling. Republicans say Barack Obama flip-flopped on public campaign financing. We need a flip-flop truce in this country. Let’s recognize that reasonable people change their minds from time-to-time. We can hold them to account when they make a habit of…
Check out how the Kansas City Star treated the latest Jose Guillen sound bite. “We still (stink),” Guillen says. “How about that? We still (stink), simple as that. We still (stink). You got it. If you want to know the truth, you got it.” Parentheses should never show up inside quotes, but this particular usage…
President Bush wants Congress to end an offshore drilling moratorium that dates back to early Reagan. Bush said that if congressional leaders head home for their July 4 recess without taking action, they will need to explain why “$4 a gallon gasoline is not enough incentive for them to act. And Americans will rightly ask…
Al Gore endorsed Barack Obama tonight. It was a great speech. Here’s what the New York Times had to say, with a little meaningless Stooks commentary. Mr. Gore had purposefully stayed on the sidelines during the long Democratic primary fight. He announced his decision to endorse Mr. Obama on Monday afternoon in a message to…
Tim Russert is gone. I will miss him. With that said, it’s been interesting to watch reaction to this news. MSNBC went wall-to-wall, without commercials, to talk about their amazing boss. His coworkers described an unparalleled father, son and friend. “He always asked the right questions” became a cliche after about an hour of the…
DB and I wanted to catch a Royals game Wednesday night. First, we went for drinks and food in Waldo. We had a couple of drinks at Tanner’s before heading next door for Waldo Pizza. Crap beer was $1.25. I chose Old Style. DB chose Schlitz. The Schlitz didn’t make Danny famous, but the Old…
Mark Roh, U.S. Food and Drug Administration’s acting regional director holds a bag of tomatoes being tested for salmonella bacteria at FDA’s southwest regional research lab, in Irvine, Calif., Monday June 9, 2008, where microbiologists are working to trace the source of the outbreak. I can picture the photographer now. Looking for a good photograph…
Al Gore is on the board of directors at Apple, but it’s still odd to see the former vice president clapping over a new iPhone ad like it’s a line in a Clinton State of the Union Address. And people wonder why he didn’t want to run for office again.
Time published an error-plagued article on the new iPhone (bold mine). With the old iPhone (which ran on AT&T’s Edge network) on one side and the new one (which runs on AT&T’s 3G network) on the other, Jobs loaded a photo-heavy Web page at nationalgeographic.com. It took 21 sec. on the 3G phone, versus 59…
Four months ago, I uploaded “John Denver Crash” to YouTube. Head over to the comments page and you’ll see the bombardment I received at the hands of John Denver fans. Here’s a tame example: Mike Huckabee might think this video is funny. He’s a tasteless moron like you. It’s the lowest rated of my movies…
Dear flies, Why are you so greedy? We could coexist if you would simply stay off my food and out of my way. You might be the least repulsive of insects, yet you die at human hands in greater numbers than most other insects. Doesn’t this seem a tad off to you? Can’t you see…
Many things were labeled “racist” or “sexist” during the primary season. A lot of these went over my head. For example, some said that Hillary’s 3 AM ad had obvious racial overtones. I swear I heard one political douche accuse the ad of saying something along the lines of “Oh, it’s three in the morning,…
(3:28 mp3) Taco Bell in the Target Store Podcast: Download (3.2MB)
Barry found a flattened squirrel in the street. He enjoyed it.
Dad called me at 10:20 Thursday morning. Five minutes earlier, he found out it might be a good idea to prepare the house at Big Lake for a flood. A storm was coming, and the Missouri River might decide to make itself at home. We arrived at the house at 1:00. The living room got…
(7:25 mp3) John McCain blows at speaking good Podcast: Download (3.4MB)
Heather spilled her margarita into her Mexican food. The Mexican food was abundant. Tequila never is. Paper plates make decent cups.
A good alternative to a raft requires a good ab workout to maintain.