Dear flies,
Why are you so greedy? We could coexist if you would simply stay off my food and out of my way.
You might be the least repulsive of insects, yet you die at human hands in greater numbers than most other insects. Doesn’t this seem a tad off to you? Can’t you see that you’re doing something wrong?
Instead of landing on my food, maybe you could go eat some crums off the floor. That would be a helpful service, and I wouldn’t have to splatter your guts amongst the furniture for doing it. It’s not where I want your final resting place to be, and you shouldn’t want it that way, either.
As I’m writing this, you’re trying to land on my computer screen. Listen closely: I will kill you. It’s time for your species to start acting in a reasonable fashion if you must insist on sharing company with humans.
If you have any proposals on how to make this work, please let me know.
Matt
Perhaps if we could only negotiate with representatives from the fly nation, we could reach a better understanding of their hopes and goals in coexisting with humans as a species. Maybe we could reach a mutual agreement and designate a certain portion of land as their own to pass on to their descendants as an expression of their pride and heritage. It’s the only humanitarian choice. Otherwise, we’re destined to swat at them in expressions of hate and vengeance for years to come.
I’ve been watching too much campaign news.
DB thinks we can “talk” to these fly leaders and suddenly change their minds. That’s not change we can believe in.
This reminded me of Juney, our June Bug friend from Saturday night on my patio. He was still struggling to get off the patio on Sunday morning. I picked him up and just threw him off to the side.
I was then bit by a big black ant on the toe. Possibly retaliation for accidentally burning that ant to death Saturday night.
The ant probably bit you because you were Good Samaritan to Juney. But when it came to ants, you were a ruthless murderer. Your actions definitely deserved a WTF? And that burning was no accident.
It was an accident on the initial burn, but when I saw the ant suffering and that he probably wouldn’t make it anyways, I had to put him out of his misery.
Hilarious. All of it.