Category: RIP

RIP: Ma

Estelle Getty, known to the world as “Ma” from The Golden Girls, is dead at 84. Rest in peace, Ma.  We hardly knew ye. Which are the real Ma and Dorothy? (0:56 mp3) Podcast: Download (1.8MB)

RIP: What century are you in?

Ozzy Osbourne is playing the Sprint Center, and my mom asked “is he going to bite the head off a bat?” I told her I didn’t think he did that anymore. “Maybe he’ll bite the top off a bottle of Geritol, instead,” she said. Yes, it was funny, but I felt that Geritol was a…

Read the full article

RIP: Dog the Bounty Hunter

Dog the Bounty Hunter is in trouble for saying the N-word six times during a phone conversation with his son. Here you go. Beware: he says the N-word a whole lot. There’s something extra hilarious about this latest N-word fiasco. Dog wasn’t going around saying “N-word this and N-Word that and goddamn N-words!” Nothing like…

Read the full article

RIP: The Fonzie Fix

We went to the 810 Zone on the Plaza to watch the MU and KU games yesterday. They have touchscreen computers in the booths. You can watch TV, play games or go online. It’s a pretty cool idea. Our particular computer was dicked, though. It wouldn’t let us select any of the options. They rebooted…

Read the full article

RIP: Neanderthal

Well, a bunch of scientists decided to go read some Neanderthal DNA, and totally ruin all our fun. Neanderthals, an archaic human species that dominated Europe until the arrival of modern humans some 45,000 years ago, possessed a critical gene known to underlie speech, according to DNA evidence retrieved from two individuals excavated from El…

Read the full article

RIP: Dane Cook

Wow, Dane Cook backlash is in full force. I appreciated Dane Cook’s humor for a couple of hours once. Then, it looked like he ripped off material, did a movie with Jessica Simpson, and cut some horrifyingly bad promos for the Major League Baseball Playoffs. Farewell, Dane. We hardly knew ye.

RIP: Grinding

From Men’s Health on the topic of “grinding”: Dr. Jonathan Huber, M.D., of Queen’s University College in Kingston, Ontario, found that about three in 10 women think it’s okay. Good luck finding those three. Men’s Health‘s own spot survey of attractive, intelligent women found near-universal disgust with the move. Whoa, hold on, Men’s Health. Your…

Read the full article

RIP: SARS

Remember SARS? Remember waking up in a cold sweat at 3 am after nightmaring that you got infected with SARS after a visit to Chinatown? SARS was far weaker than the Bird Flu. Sars mortality rate was at about 10 percent. About eight thousand people got it, about eight hundred died. Bird Flu got 199…

Read the full article

RIP: The "Wide Stance"

Thanks to Larry Craig, law-abiding visitors to public restrooms can no longer sit upon the toilet with a wide stance. The senator then tapped his right foot, “a signal used by persons wishing to engage in lewd conduct,” Karsnia wrote, and Craig ran his left hand several times underneath the partition dividing the stalls. The…

Read the full article

R.I.P. "Internets" and "Interweb"

I’ve decided I’m sick of hearing people say “Internets” and “Interweb.” I love Colbert as much as the next guy, but this is getting worse than overquoting Napoleon Dynamite. Originality, people! Bunch of pwned n00bs.