HAHA!
I just watched Martha Stewart’s new show, Martha. It’s like her old show, but more awkward.
Go ahead, Martha. Force that smile. Look at how phony she is! I think a little bit of her soul dies every time she smiles.
They started the show with her holding a dog. She can’t pull it off! It’s taking every fiber of her being to resist choking the life out of the dog! Somebody get that thing away from the dog!
Later on, she has a stuffed animal. Phew! She still wants to tear the head off the thing, but at least she won’t get arrested for it.
She has a studio audience and guests. Today she had Marcia Cross from Desperate Housewives.
Check out Martha’s awkwardly scripted attempt at being funny.
Then, you can tell she has no idea about the Desperate Housewives as she brings up the show’s soundtrack and then cuts Marcia off.
HAHA!
That’s not it!
But the best part of this show is a ripoff of Oprah.
She has a guest on who makes meatballs.
The poor crowd!
They’re stuck just feet away from some of the most salivating, luscious meatballs in the world!
Just out of reach!
Oh no!
What’s a crowd to do?
Don’t worry!
Martha has meatballs for everybody!
And they scream for the meatballs!
“YESSSSSSSSSSS!” roars one audience member.
“Put them in my mouth!” yells another.
“I want to lick you Martha!” comes yet another member of the crowd.
How come I never see anyone act this way when it’s free samples at the grocery store?
I almost used a sad-face emoticon after that last sentence. For that, I apologize.
First off, Martha has no history violence whatsoever. So those jokes about her with the dog and stuffed animal were not funny. Nor did they make sense. Also, you use way to many exclamation points!! I counted twenty of them, way to many. I felt like I was drowning in them at the end.
So two things:
1) Get your facts straight before you write something about someone.
2) Don’t use as many exclamation points.
Anonymous,
I agree on the exclamation points, and if you’d look in the archives, you’d see how much I hate them. I was trying to lampoon people who are obsessed with them.
Martha is a public figure. She has a history of having a bad temper. I was poking fun at that. Sorry for offending a Martha fan.
Stooks,
You shouldn’t have to be sorry for stating your opinion. I personally think Martha is a friend of the devil. If that offends anyone, that’s your problem not mine. I did find your jokes quite amusing. Now with the exclamation points, people do over use them. How can anyone be that excited?
Martha Stewart SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I love you stooks! You can say anything you want.