I met the most entertaining middle-aged woman ever today.
I wish I would’ve gotten her name, but it was at 12:30 at the Handy’s Liquor Store (tee hee…Handys…).
I say “Hey, how’s it going?”
My new friend says “It’s Thursday!”
And then we get into an in-depth conversation about how Thursday is actually better than Friday because of the anticipation of Friday. Whereas Friday itself is never as good as you thought it would be. Kindof like the Mortal Kombat movies.
Then, I say “I’m looking for vodka.”
She points me in the general direction of the vodka.
Feeling that she might be disappointed with me, I say “I don’t think you’ll be impressed with my taste in vodka,” as I retrieve a half gallon bottle of Viaka.
“I don’t buy the expensive, either. As long as you’re mixing it with something, who cares?”
I resisted the urge to hop the counter and ravage her right then and there. It took every fiber of my being to resist the temptation.
I paid my $10, and she bid me farewell.
“Have a nice weekend,” said the lovely liquor lady.
“And you enjoy the rest of this Thursday,” I said, fighting away the tears, as I walked out of her life…forever. Or until I want to get drunk in the afternoon again.
Unfortunately you can’t mix cheap beer with something to mask the taste. Otherwise I would be buying, and drinking, cases of Meister Brau every weekend. $7 for a case. Can’t beat that.
i wish i had a liquor lady like that, mine looks like she is 14 has purple hair and always grills me forever on how old I am. even though i see her once a week +/-. ~CP
Unfortunately, the Mortal Kombat reference would have been lost on most people.