I have to type this thing out every day anyway, so I figured I’d start putting it online, too.
Capricorn
You’ve been frugal and practical long enough. The stars say it’s time to splurge. The stars also say “is it hot in here or is it just me?”
Gemini
Don’t worry about all the contracts, paperwork and superficial entanglements; they’ll work themselves out. Instead, focus on your love life, and that new air pump at Wal-Mart that’ll make sure your lover’s ready when you are.
Libra
The blahs have taken hold of your daily routine. It’s time to shake things up immediately. Stand on your head. Do a summersault. Salt and butter your corn after you’ve digested it. Whatever it takes.
Pisces
The changes you’re making in your life require more education. Don’t give up! You’ll be so glad you added more skills to your repertoire. Everyone will cheer when they see your shadow puppet show of Katie Holmes’ delivery.
Stooks Proverb: Some see the glass as half empty…others as half full…and Russell Crowe sees it as something to throw at his Denny’s waitress for not letting him order the Senior Belgian Waffle Slam®.