Capricorn
Yours is a complex sign, and you can’t be expected to process things the way that other, simpler signs do. Give yourself a little space to move. Here’s a start: stay away from Guillermo in the elevator for both space and stench relief.
Gemini
Make sure you don’t neglect your health or your loved ones in pursuit of success — a sense of balance is key. Astral conditions all point toward success when it comes to achieving a long-desired goal. No, Taco Bell has nothing to do with “astral conditions.”
Libra
It’s a great time to renovate your dwelling — or to search for new digs altogether. After all, your life is changing and expanding — shouldn’t your living space keep up? Now’s the perfect time to break out the bleach and take care of those yellow mystery stains on your wall.
Pisces
You know it’s time to renovate some areas of your psyche, but that doesn’t mean you have to commit to anything before you’re sure. Think of this process like a salad bar: Go ahead and try a little of everything. And try to smuggle some bacon bits out in your nephew’s retainer case.
Stooks Proverb: Don’t judge a book by its cover. Judge it by it’s ability to knock out Paul Schaffer, sparing the world of his “eh hehehehe” laugh for even just a minute.