Leo
Who elected you peacemaker? Actually, all the astrological energies are in agreement on this one. You’ve got the right stuff when it comes to settling disputes, negotiating contracts and slashing the tires of the clerk who wouldn’t spot you two pennies at the gas station.
Sagittarius
Use the element of surprise on your problems. Laughter isn’t just the best medicine — it’s life’s saving grace. Especially when you and your friends are laughing at that guy who just tripped over the sidewalk and is all playing like it didn’t happen. We totally saw it dude.
Taurus
You’ve received all the relevant information. You’ve done the calculations and made the projections. Now it’s time to make a choice. Stick with the Banquet brand meatloaf and mashed potatoes. Hint: discard the carrots.
Virgo
A potential love interest wants to be on your radar — but they have an unusual way of trying to snag your attention. Hey, at least give them points for effort. Damn, why do you always have to realize you need a camcorder just when your stalker is in your yard, in the nude, with a poster-board sign saying “Snap into a Slim Jim?”
Stooks Proverb: When it rains, it pours. And God forbid anyone be within 100 yards of Mark Mangino wearing a white shirt.