Stooksoscope for Tuesday

Aquarius

When your dad calls with another set of instructions about how to change an oil filter, the temptation to roll your eyes is irresistible. Listen attentively and you may just learn something about your family…specifically, about your family’s questionable past in the organized car parts theft crime syndicate.


Cancer

Learn to shake off any little setbacks. Mistakes help you grow for the future. Your high standards have gotten you where you are today: sad, alone, and cynical toward every episode of America’s Funniest Home Videos: Tom Bergeron Edition. You’re still cool with the Saget version.


Scorpio

Do something new. Eat somewhere different for lunch. Try a gyro — a nice change from the usual burrito! Go a different way to the office break room. Who knew that there was a cute new hire in IT? Use the opposite sex’s bathroom’s sink to do your business. You get the idea.


Aries

Some friends bring out the very best in you. Other friends consistently leave you feeling like you’ve been run over by an SUV. Hmm — maybe it’s time to reconsider the relationships that fall in the latter category. Then, buy a knife.


Stooks Proverb: Every dog has his day. It’s definitely not the one where (“snip snip” sound effect). That’s Andy Dick’s day…for sifting through the garbage outside the vet’s office.

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