Stooksoscope for Friday

Leo

There are many benefits to being an adult — no curfew and not having to ask to borrow the car are a few. You can’t get away with looking up schoolgirls skirts as much, though.

Sagittarius

Push beyond the borders of your comfort zone, even if it’s only in the smallest ways. Try mango-cranberry sorbet instead of chocolate ice cream. Tell your sweetie you want to go to Tahiti instead of visiting relatives. Sit next to the guy in the wife beater with that mystery stain on the front.

Taurus

Willow trees survive storms, whereas sturdier types, like the oak, topple over. Why? Because willows are exceptionally flexible. They bend, then go back up. Take this information to heart right now. Trees are fun!

Virgo

What’s that delicious aroma? Why, that’s the sweet smell of success — and it’s coming from you. It resembles the smell of garlic mixed with Angela Lansbury.

Stooks Proverb: True love never grows old. It just becomes bitter and craps itself.