Capricorn
You know what you want done and you know how you want it to happen. Now if you could just afford Jenna Jameson, you’d have quite the film.
Gemini
It’s a hectic time, but it’s nothing you can’t handle. Just make sure you stay mentally and physically flexible. See if you can bend your leg over head and touch your conscience with your toe.
Libra
After all of the efforts you’ve made, you’re like a cat on a hot tin roof, and who can blame you? But luckily for the cat, it was neutered before it got on the hot tin roof, unlike you.
Pisces
Your friends have issues, so be a caring pal and lend a sympathetic ear. Believe it or not, your humanitarian impulses will increase your chances of romance. See, this is where being gay would really come in handy.
Stooks Proverb: Like father, like son. That’s why Jake Busey also picks broccoli out of his teeth with a pick axe.