A bad couple days for Lindsay Lohan.
First, she had a fight with her mom at a restaurant on her mom’s birthday. Her mom, Dina, had already been throwing back Cristal before Lindsay showed up. Lindsay was pissed at her mom, told her to “go to hell” and stormed out of the restaurant. Dina started crying and then spent 45 minutes typing on her BlackBerry and then more crying when her birthday cake came out. Then, she started throwing fortune cookies at the waiters and flipping them off. Then, she didn’t tip.
Meanwhile, Lindsay breaks her wrist after falling at some fashion party. Likely drunk.
Willie Nelson’s been arrested for marijuana possession. They had a pound-and-a-half on their tour bus. As a cop, isn’t it cheating to bust Willie Nelson for pot?
“Check me out! I’m even blazed off my ass as a cartoon!”
Katie Holmes is having doubts about marrying Tom Cruise. Rumor has it that she doesn’t know if she doesn’t want to commit to Tom, who is so controlling he makes the Church of Scientology review every script Katie Holmes looks at. She feels she doesn’t have a life of her own. Cue the Dawson’s theme.
LL Cool J’s coming back to TV in The Man. The title alone says how terrible this show has to be.
Mel Gibson’s daughter just married guitarist Kenny Wayne Shepard. Kenny Wayne Shepard is a bad ass. And he probably likes to drink. And I don’t think he’s Jewish.
Napoleon Dynamite’s wife is pregnant. He bothers me.