Scoop

Jessica Simpson and John Mayer hanging out at a hotel bar together? Then, they disappeared into an elevator? You don’t suppose they did anything naughty, do you? I think so. I bet the poor person who got into the elevator after them had to stop at every floor on the way down!

“Ouch” on Jessica Simpson’s movie with Dane Cook, by the way. “Employee of the Month” got just more than $10 million for its opening weekend. It was beaten by “The Departed,” the new “Texas Chainsaw” movie and “Open Season.”

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are making news while Brad films a movie in India. They took a rickshaw ride with Maddox. And no one better even think about taking a picture. Their bodyguard is threatening photographers and even grabbed one by the neck and yelled at him. Don’t worry, though. One photographer managed to grab one “quality” photo for your enjoyment.

“I’ll have Sloth beat the hell out of him, hon.”

Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, etc. are in for some trouble getting into some exclusive clubs. Club owners are sick of their childish behavior and don’t plan on letting them in anymore. But what about the dance-offs and assaults we’ve come to know and love from them? Someone call Fox!

Mel Gibson’s taking his story to Good Morning America this Thursday and Friday. He’s already filmed the interview with Dianne Sawyer. I just hope GMA’s accountant wasn’t on hand.

“I think I have one of those damn Jewish earwigs.”

Kate Moss’ boyfriend had to cancel his tour with his band, The Babyshambles. His people say he didn’t take enough time after rehab. But the tabloids say Kate Moss forced him off the tour because of his drug problem. How bad is that when Kate Moss intervenes because of your drug problem? Oh, and this article says she wants to have a baby, thinking that might stop him from using drugs. Too bad his sperm will be too busy beating the hell out of each other to fertilize.

Jude Law’s ex, Sienna Miller, is filming an indie film in Pittsburgh, or “Shitsburgh,” as she calls it. She’s apologized and said her words were taken out of context. Oh, I guess she must’ve said “damn anyone who calls this gorgeous town “Shitsburgh.”

Finally the scandal we’ve been screaming for: a tell-all book by Walter Cronkite’s former chef. The most shocking allegation? Walter would keep changing the number of people who were coming to dinner! What an old, son of a bitch.

Desperate Houswife Marcia Cross is expecting twins. That ought to piss Teri Hatcher off.