Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes have officially announced a wedding date of Saturday, November 18th in Italy. Hopefully they will stay there.
TMZ got a copy of the birth certificate for the latest Federline: Jayden James. And it is a boy. And they think Britney will shove him in everyone’s face just in time for Federline’s CD release on Halloween. Frightening enough for me. By the way, Federline made his second straight appearance on WWE’s Monday Night Raw this week. This time, he bitch-slapped the guy who bodyslammed him last week. I think someone has a backup career.
Madonna filmed an appearance that will air on Wednesday’s Oprah. I’ve got my TiVo set, and I expect Madonna to be quite annoying. I’ll share the audio with you.
I don’t know if this was reported in time to be brought up on Oprah, but there’s some controversy about the orphanage she’s building in Africa. The Kaballah Centre is providing the curriculum for the school. It’s about time Kaballah got back into the “which is creepier: Kaballah or Scientology?” fight.
Some rich guy Anna Nicole Smith was sleeping with says Anna tried to tell him she was pregnant with his baby. He told her that’s impossible, since he had a vasectomy. Now, he says she confessed that poor dude Larry Birkhead was the real father. Why hasn’t Maury been called yet?
Paris Hilton was smooching on two dudes and working the strip pole pretty hard the other night. When will she just give it up and just throw her legs up in surrender to the line of men she’ll inevitably sleep with anyway?
The Enquirer says Joy Behar wants Barbara Walters to fire both Rosie and Elisabeth Hasselbeck. She hates Elisabeth’s conservative views, and Rosie’s takeover of the show. Plus Rosie overthrew Joy for “stinkiest farter.”
Cindy Crawford is auctioning off a makeover and “hang out with Cindy at some modeling event” on eBay for a man and a woman to help raise money for Locks of Love, a highly underrated way to help young cancer patients suffering from hair loss. I count on Chris making a mole reference to this story on tomorrow’s show.
I usually stay away from politics on the show, but if you’re sick of all the far-right and far-left crap out there, I highly recommend Chris Matthews on MSNBC. His little quirks are a bonus. And on the latest show, I was treated to an onscreen belch. Check it out.