Capricorn (December 22 - January 19)

You have poetry in your soul, and it's time express it. You might want to keep your Kramer tribute poems to yourself.

Gemini (May 21 - June 21)

Your crackling energy takes a turn for the mellow and sweet early on in the day. Enjoy it to the fullest. Later on, you find an unexpected reservoir of hatred for Mr. Belvedere.

Libra (September 23 - October 22)

It's up to you to take the first step when it comes to fixing a breach between friends or relations. The stars give you the gift of perspective. They also give you the gift of gas. Roll down a window.

Pisces (February 19 - March 20)

Deep emotions come your way. The trouble is, you're so intuitive that you could find yourself drowning in them unless you take care. Never fear! You’ve got a snorkel.

Stooks Proverb: All is fair in love and war, except using Mark Mangino as a human shield.