Aquarius (January 20 - February 18)

You're over it, but then why are you reliving it in your head -- so much so that you're not even aware of it? The key is to see yourself as you are: a person who has learned the lesson and is truly beyond the situation, rather than seeing yourself as that guy who passed out in urinal five at Rusty’s while still holding onto your Long Island Iced Tea.

Cancer (June 22 - July 22)

Something that seems settled suddenly changes direction, but there's no need to worry. This is just a small detour before everything gets back on track. Nothing beats a good colon cleanse.

Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)

Get ready, because the universe is sending you exactly the information you need, but in a most unusual way. Who would’ve thought the universe used Braille?

Aries (March 21 - April 19)

Explore an age-old question with some methods that are unusual for you. When this practice turns out to have exceptional results, you'll want to share it with every person you know. Don’t be saddened by their blank stares when you explain how a Pez dispenser works.

Stooks Proverb: A kind word can even attract a snake from his nest. Maybe Samuel L. Jackson should’ve tried that instead of profanities.