Aquarius (January 20 - February 18)

Some timid types may be in charge of making big decisions right now, so bring out that offbeat, quirky charm of yours. That, combined with the cool logic of your choices, will have them on your side in no time. If that doesn’t work, try threatening them with a cheese grater.

Cancer (June 22 - July 22)

Could you choose a new way to deal with a situation you've seen in your life before? This time, try using Valtrex instead of sand paper.

Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)

Clear communication is one of your desired goals, but so much is going on that it's easy to forget what the main message should be: Louie Anderson should still be hosting Family Feud.

Aries (March 21 - April 19)

Watch out -- foot-in-mouth disease is catching. Safeguard yourself: clean out those toe crevices quickly.

Stooks Proverb: Don’t give advice in a crowd. Especially if you’re O.J. and the crowd has a weak stomach.